I hated being pregnant. Almost every single minute of it. I was super nauseous and incredibly miserable the entire first half of my pregnancy. I couldn’t keep my eyes open, I felt like all joy and energy was straight up sucked right out of me. My nausea made me dizzy and made eating nearly impossible, and while I’m not the smallest, I didn’t gain a single pound until after 27 weeks due to the sheer inability to eat.
AND THEN because I hated being pregnant I was so worried I wasn’t going to be a good mom, and I didn’t have great examples of what a good mom looked like in my life growing up. I had a few, but no first hand experience. Now that I’m older I know a lot of rockstar moms, thankfully.
Now, I know that there are women out there that would LOVE to be pregnant, and I absolutely FEEL for them and am in no way taking from their experiences. I understand for some, it seems silly to complain about something that so many people strive for, but I want to normalize emotion and what a lot of women go through.
Right around 20 weeks I slipped and almost fell on the ice, but instead sunk down into an almost-splits move, and stressed my pelvis, and caused those ligaments to stretch premature. Every step caused pain, and standing for more than 15 minutes often left me fatigued and struggling to get comfortable. Lots of physical therapy and chiropractic helped, but I remember crying from the sheer pain and discomfort of my hips.
Pregnancy is HARD on your body. I know not all moms have this experience, but it was hard mentally to get through the pain, the foreign body, and all the big hormones and emotions.
Pregnancy is HARD on your brain. My mental health took a major hit learning to love my new body that looked and felt so differently. I stretched and swelled and moved completely different.
Of course, to make matters worse, I was due in May of 2020 and we all know what happened in March of 2020 with the shut downs and COVID 19 pandemic. January of 2020 I was so incredibly sick, sicker than I have ever been in my life, and just chalked it up to pregnancy making my symptoms that much worse, but really, I have a suspicion that I had COVID19.
Normalize having the space to be authentic about what you are feeling.
I was terrified that because I didn’t want to be a mom growing up, and I hated being pregnant, that I would be a bad mom.
Obviously, I know now that intention, quality time, and loving your babies every day are the building blocks of a good mom. If you are worried about being a good mom, you are already off to a good start.
So it’s okay to hate being pregnant. Being miserable and in pain isn’t comfortable. Is it worth it? Absolutely, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t tough struggling along during your pregnancy, and feeling guilty for having those thoughts.
Give yourself some grace momma, you are going to do a great job.