Today marks ten years since I legally became an adult. Ten years since I packed everything I could into garbage bags in my car, and fled my toxic childhood to live with my grandparents while I finished out high school and saved up to get my own place.
Ten years of growth, and ten years of pain. Healing isn’t linear. I’m still struggling with the after effects of being raised in such a volatile environment. There’s noise in my brain sometimes and it’s hard to make it quiet.
I’m working on discovering myself, ironically as much as I strive to encourage others to love themselves and to see the best, it can be so hard to see the best in myself. Year 28 will be marked with intention.
The intention of growth, the intention of time, and the intention of emotion. Year 26 made me a mother, in year 27 I stopped accepting less than I deserve, and in year 28 I’m planning to make waves.
What I’ve learned as I’ve grown and healed is that everyone has their own crap that they deal with it. Call it coping mechanisms–both good and bad, but people express themselves in a wide variety of ways. I’m working to express myself in the most genuine manner possible. I want to try to treat other people with the benefit of the doubt, and with kindness whenever I can.
I want to be a light to those around me, I want to pull back the curtains that in trauma and toxic childhood, and gentle parenting. By showing you my life and welcoming you in, I’m not bragging or judging those who do it differently, I’m showing SO many who don’t feel like they have the strength to make a positive change and impact those around them that they CAN have an impact and they DO matter.
Thanks for sticking around, I appreciate you in my community.