I never dreamed that I was going to be a mom, so when it happened I was understandably SCARED.
I was unprepared.
I didn’t have a good relationship with my mother and didn’t feel like I was going to be a good mom. I was stressed about everything but I was SUPER stressed about delivery.
My daughter is a year and a half old now, and as I look back I want to share the top five things that I have learned along the way. Some of it I knew going in but didn’t realize just how important it was until later because, you know, hindsight is 20/20.
- Its great to have a plan if that makes you feel more comfortable, but also be comfortable and prepared for things to change.
- This was really hard for me. I am a planner. I was set on not having an epidural, I really wanted to labor in water, and I wanted to be able to go into labor naturally. None of this happened–but being flexible and prepared to have my birth plan change helped me trust my doctor and my body to get through labor.
- The more you familiarize yourself with birth, the more comfortable you will feel.
- My sweet friend Regina with Sweet Clover Photography offers all things pregnancy, birth, and postpartum support. I chatted with her and she gave me SO many resources and gave me this advice. She kept emphasizing that our bodies are made to do this, and that labor and delivery is powerful and natural and the more I studied and familiarized myself, the more nervous I got, BUT, when the time came, I felt so much more confident and pushed through.
- I would HIGHLY encourage you to reach out to her or any other doula and make those connections to start getting the support that you deserve.
- Your doctor and/or nurse will tell you that ALMOST anything is normal when you are in labor.
- I was stressing myself out because I was in so much pain that my body was shaking uncontrollably (baby was still safe and so was I). Turns out thats totally a thing!
- So is:
- passing out
- puking
- dizziness
- lightheadedness
- getting antsy
- swaying and finding rhythms
- incredibly and uncomfortably hot
- and so much more
- So is:
- I was stressing myself out because I was in so much pain that my body was shaking uncontrollably (baby was still safe and so was I). Turns out thats totally a thing!
- Your body WILL know what to do when you are pushing.
- My actual labor occured for around 13 hours before I was actively pushing. I did push for almost 4 hours, but thats because stubborn little miss decided to come out with her face up, making it a little bit harder.
- She was crowning and they were waiting for the doctor to arrive, and my nurse told me I needed to hold off on pushing but it was NOT happening. At this point, my body had completely taken over and was totally ready to push that baby out.
- You have a right to advocate for what you want, and if you don’t feel comfortable–insist on having someone present, like a doula or birth coach or family member, that will advocate for you.
- I was really pleased that my doctor gave me the pros and cons of each decision that I chose and did not pressure me, but I know that that is not always the case–and I want parents to be aware that you can choose what you want.
- One example of this is delayed cord clamping; my doctor and I discussed the potential health benefits versus any potential risks with delaying cord clamping and we agreed on 60 seconds as long as there were no reasons to rush such as health concerns for either the momma or baby.
I hope these five tips give you a little bit of insight and make you feel a little bit more prepared if you are a new momma-to-be.
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